Proofed Paper: ntp423412 – Tue Jul 24 17:51:47 EDT 2018
Paper Title: Controlled Substance Act of 1970 (Marshakie Applewhite)
No. of Pages: 6 Pages
Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Research
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No
Feedback Areas: Grammar & Mechanics, Focus/Thesis Statement
Paper Goals: The assignment is to write a six-page paper on a government policy not counting
the title and reference pages. The paper is to adhere to the standards of the APA format.
I’m Shawn, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have made several
suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a live chat session with any follow-up
questions or for any clarification.
Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting
point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for minor errors, but
rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at your grammar and punctuation,
please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom.
You have done a nice job of constructing topic sentences that are fully developed and help introduce the reader to
the main focus of your body paragraphs. Also, there is good focus within your work as well as great flow. Great Job!
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
1. Thesis Statement
Your thesis statement should help introduce the reader to the main focus of your paper and it should also include
a list of supporting reasons for this main focus. In this case your main focus is related to the Controlled Substance
Act of 1970. Now the next step would be to also include a list of supporting reasons to let the reader know what all
of your paper’s body paragraphs will discuss about this main focus within your paper’s developing thesis statement:
2. Paragraph Development
Although, it is good to utilize lots of in-text citations in your paper. It is also important to be sure that all these in-text
citations are being properly incorporated into the text. The proper method for incorporating in-text citations is referred
to as the I.C.E. method. In this case you have introduced and cited the in-text citation and now the next step is to also
include a sentence after that helps to explain the relevance of this in-text citation to your paper’s main argument. Refer
to the link below for some additional and further assistance with the development of your in-text citation incorporation:
3. APA Formatting
According to the APA format the parenthesis at the end of an in-text citation should include the author’s last name,
the date of publication, and the page number of the cited source. Refer to the link below for further assistance with
the development of all your in-text citations: http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper
Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.